I just feel like my head is going to explode.
Literally and figuratively. I have a headache that won't quit. I've been waking up with headaches the last few days and I just cannot figure it out.
On top of that today is Weigh In Wednesday, and I could not be more disappointed in what the scale told me. I know it's not all about the scale, but I've been feeling like a chunk-o-matic lately, and to see the scale reflect it just really bummed me out.
So today my weight is: 210
Two hundred and ten pounds. I swore when I hit 200 for the first time (going down, not up) I would never see that number again. And now here I am, only 20 pounds away from my heaviest weight.
How did I get here? What is happening? I'm running, I'm walking, I'm not sitting around and mindlessly eating. I know my nutrition needs to be better, but I never thought I was doing THIS badly. Is the whole "take things in little pieces" not helping me? My philosophy of doing things in tiny chunks... is it backfiring?
So this morning in the car on the way to work I made a few vows to myself. The first is that I will record every single thing I put in my mouth - and I WILL be more mindful of what those things are. The second is that I WILL continue to exercise and WILL push myself harder. I WILL walk every day that I have a "rest" day.
I have to get this under control. I'm not sure where the issue is here, though it's probably my food. I'm also going to start cutting back on caffeine (i.e. coffee). I've been doing really good with not having soda or energy drinks, but I really need to not have a cup of coffee every day. That might be why I'm getting such awful headaches first thing in the morning.
I'm going to finish out my 1/2 marathon training plan for this month, and run the 1/2 the first weekend in December. Then I have 2 fitness boons purchased. The first is a Groupon for a bootcamp in the valley that I haven't been to. I'm excited to try it and I'm determined to attend every class they have and push myself as far as I can. I WILL NOT see 210 again. And when I hit 200 I'm going to blow right past it and never look it's way again. EVER AGAIN.
I also have a Living Social deal for Crossfit classes. Now, those are one of my major goals - I want to take a month of Crossfit. I'm terrified, because it's so intense, but I really think it will help me improve my fitness.
I also have a "shield" - a philosophy of sorts. I saw this necklace on FAB (if you don't have this app you should get it) for 8$ and HAD to get it. It's a little less than an inch long and it's on a 30" chain. I plan on wearing it every day. I'm sure someone else has coined the phrase, but it really resonated with me.
Work has been really stressful lately too, so I'm sure that's contributing to my weight gain. All I can do is try to be better and work hard. Hard work, dedication, change, healthy eating and fitness.