You'll have to forgive me today, as I'm not feeling my usual perky, bouncy self. Part of this is due to mother nature and that monthly "gift", and part of this is due to some serious stress going on at work.
Work first: my bosses last day was yesterday and my closest coworker told me yesterday that she was offered an opportunity at another company and is leaving the day before Thanksgiving. To add to that, the only other person in our department who is "in charge" is going on maternity leave the first week of December. So after she leaves, it will pretty much be just me. I mean, we have 2 other people in our department, but one is probably trying to get fired and is never here, and the other will probably be moved to another department when our team get's reorganized. But wait -- there's more! We're in the middle of a HUGE project and most of the stuff that needs to get done is falling on my shoulders -- and it normally wouldn't. Then, after that, we have another HUGE project and I'm going to be the only one here to work on it. Me. By myself. To say that the success or failure of that second project is all on me is absolutely not an understatement. And then there's the lingering fact that I'm pretty much going to be alone in my department for 2 months. Throw all that in a blender and hit puree and you've got one messed up, stressed out, liquified girl.
So to say that yesterday was really stressful and depressing is kind of an understatement. Throw my monthly emotions into the mix and... well... it's just not good.
But I went to bootcamp anyway, excited to work off some of my aggression and get my burn in despite feeling lousy. I was even hoping that it would improve my mood.
Bootcamp was really.... REALLY hard. Katie was out, so we had... oh man... Jenny? I think her name is Jenny. Anyway, she set up a 4 station rotation. We warmed up with a crap-ton of squats (seriously, I couldn't feel my thighs by the time we were done warming up), then we'd do each station twice. We took a "break" in the middle to do a crap ton more squats, then we did a different set of 4 stations twice through, then we did a bunch more squats. It was the longest hour ever.
Also, I discovered that I cannot jump. One of the stations was on a bosu ball. You would sit on the ball, do a crunch and then pop up and jump. I felt like an turtle on it's back -- I seriously could not pop up off that damn bosu ball and jump up. It didn't matter how much I grunted or groaned or yelled or cried, I could not get myself to pop up. Jenny came over and noticed I was struggling and told me to just do crunches.
Sometimes I feel like she thinks that I'm this fat moron who can't do anything and she spends extra time encouraging me because she thinks I have no self-motivation or drive or something. I dunno... sometimes I appreciate it, but mostly it's just irritating. I get the feeling from her that she doesn't think I can do these things. Granted, yesterday I was epic-emotional so I'm probably just reading too much into it, but that's not the first time I've felt that from her.
Anyway, it's all good. She's really encouraging which is great and her workouts are challenging and different from Katie's. I like her, I just think that our personalities might clash a little. Which is OK -- she just fills in for Katie sometimes and it's good to work with different people.
So. That's that. I can't jump, my work is super stressful, I haven't written anything for nano in a few days which is bothering me, and I'm super duper tired today.
I did feel better after boot camp yesterday. I am going to go for a jog after work. I get to see my boyfriend tonight. Tomorrow we're picking up my bountiful basket and then we're going hiking which always makes me feel better, and tonight after my jog I'm going to write for nano. It will be a great weekend. Also I'm hoping the fact that they're pretty much burying me in stress at work will mean that someone will give me a well-deserved raise. haha.